Living in the United States, this prompt is surprisingly difficult to answer. The U.S. is enormous, and what someone experiences in one state can be completely different from what they experience in another. Still, after watching my ex-husband visit and eventually live here, I noticed a few common mistakes people make when they come to America.

The biggest one is assuming they already know what it’s like.

Many people grow up watching American movies, television shows, and social media content. Because of that, they feel familiar with the culture before they ever set foot here. The reality is often very different.

The first surprise is usually culture shock.

My ex-husband came from what was considered a “small city” in his country. The funny thing is that their idea of a small city was over 620,000 people. When I told him where I lived was considered a small city, he thought he understood what I meant.

He didn’t.

When he arrived, he quickly realized that our definition of “small” was completely different. Everything was spread out. Distances were longer. Many places required driving instead of walking. What sounded small on paper felt much larger once he experienced it.

The second surprise was the food.

His country had restaurants that served Chinese, Mexican, Italian, and other cuisines, but he admitted most of them weren’t prepared traditionally. The dishes were adapted to local tastes by people who had never actually experienced those cultures firsthand.

The grocery stores were different too. Eggs were left unrefrigerated in the middle of the store. Meat could often be purchased fresh from roadside vendors who would prepare it for you. Many foods contained fewer preservatives than what he was used to seeing in American stores.

When he came to the United States, he was amazed by the variety of food available. He loved the restaurants, the flavors, and especially the steaks. One thing that fascinated him was being able to choose exactly how rare or well-done a steak was cooked. He often joked that American restaurants had ruined him because after experiencing the food here, he was disappointed whenever he returned home to visit.

Another mistake visitors make is assuming everyday life works the same everywhere.

He was surprised by how accessible many things were. Products arrived quickly. Movies and entertainment were often available sooner. While road construction could be frustrating, projects generally moved forward and eventually got completed.

Even driving was different.

In his country, drivers could only drive on certain days depending on their license plate number. The rules of the road also required a major adjustment. There, drivers generally had the right of way. Here, pedestrians are often given priority at crosswalks and intersections. It sounds like a small difference, but changing habits that have been reinforced for years isn’t easy. Learning when to stop, yield, and watch for pedestrians took time because it was the opposite of what he had grown up with.

Finally, many visitors underestimate American slang.

Learning English is one thing. Understanding Americans is another.

Even after becoming comfortable speaking English, he still found himself confused by the endless sayings people use every day. Phrases like “up the creek without a paddle,” “tighten your belt,” “hit the hay,” or “what goes around comes around” don’t always make sense when taken literally.

Native speakers rarely think about how strange these expressions sound because we’ve heard them our entire lives. For someone learning the language, however, it can feel like learning a second language inside the first one.

If I had to sum up the biggest mistake people make when visiting the United States, it’s assuming they already understand it. The reality of living somewhere is very different from seeing it in movies, reading about it online, or hearing stories from other people.

Sometimes the most memorable part of visiting another country isn’t the landmarks or tourist attractions.

It’s discovering all the little differences you never expected.